How High-Performing Women Give Away Their Power & Health (and How to Back)

“You don’t need more time for your health. You need to stop giving all of it away.” - Alicia Goddard

For most of my (adult) life, I was a people pleaser.

I didn’t call it that at the time. I thought I was being thoughtful, helpful and easy to deal with. I was good at reading people and anticipating what they needed. If there was a problem, I would usually find a way to solve it. If someone was unhappy, I felt compelled to do something about it. Saying no felt impossible.

It took me almost losing everything to understand that this wasn’t simply a personality trait, it was my programming.

The programming we don’t notice

Most of us develop ways of operating long before we have the perspective to question them.

We learn what gets rewarded, how to gain approval, avoid conflict, keep the peace, achieve, cope and become useful. We carry those lessons into adulthood, often without realising that we are still following them.

For me, being accommodating in a disruptive household kept me safe. It helped me navigate relationships and situations, and made me feel like a good person. There was very little incentive to question it until I began to see the cost.

Eventually I realised that constantly adjusting myself around other people meant I wasn’t always making decisions based on what I actually wanted or needed.

That realisation changed a lot for me.

I learned that saying no didn’t make me selfish, or that disappointing someone didn’t mean I had done something wrong, and that I could care about people without being responsible for keeping them happy.

If your default programming is to put other people’s needs ahead of your own, that behaviour eventually extends beyond people and into the way you structure your life.

And when putting other people’s needs ahead of your own has become second nature, your health can quietly become another thing you’re willing to compromise.

Work gets busy? Your training goes.

Someone needs you? Your lunch gets pushed back.

You’re travelling? Your normal eating habits disappear.

You don’t want to be difficult so you say yes to the dinner, the drinks, the late night, the extra commitment… even though you’re already running on empty.

None of these decisions is particularly significant on its own. That’s precisely why they’re so easy to miss. But collectively, they become the very mechanism that sits between you and the health you want — and perhaps why your body is screaming at you.

When being highly capable becomes a health problem

The problem (and blessing) with being highly capable is that more and more people start relying on you, which takes up your time, right?

You become very good at getting things done, even when you’re tired. You’re really good at squeezing more things in, and you’re adaptable.

Unfortunately though, your health doesn’t always respond well to that approach. Your body doesn’t care how successful you are. It still needs food, movement, strength, sleep and recovery.

And this is where I think high-performing women can quietly give their power away.

Not through one big decision, but through lots of tiny little ones.

Every time your health is the thing that gets moved when something else comes up, you’re making a decision about where you sit on your own priority list.

Sometimes that’s necessary. That’s life.

But if it happens week after week, year after year, it stops being a temporary compromise and becomes the way you live.

Then you look back and think, how did that happen? Where did all the time go? Where am I in this story called my life?

We all say things like, “I wish I had more time for my health, the gym, to walk…”

But maybe the problem isn’t that you don’t have enough time.

Maybe you’ve simply become very good at giving it away.

Taking your power back

Taking your power back doesn’t mean becoming rigid, selfish or obsessed with your health.

It means becoming the healthy person who makes their health a priority, raising your standards for yourself, and making yourself a non-negotiable too.

It also means accepting that your health won’t always look perfect.

There will be weeks when you travel, miss a workout, eat the dessert, work late or sleep badly.

The difference is that one imperfect week doesn’t become another six months of putting yourself last.

You can care deeply about your business, your career, your family and the people around you without sacrificing yourself.

You don’t need to sacrifice one for the other. You can have it all.

That’s how you get your power back.

Ready to put yourself back on the list?

If this sounds familiar, this is exactly the work I do with high-achieving women.

I help women build a healthier, stronger body without sacrificing their career, their social life or the things they enjoy, using a personalised approach to nutrition, training, recovery and mindset.

If you’re ready to stop putting yourself last, ⁠learn more about my 1:1 coaching.